Letter to bump number two

Dear bump number two,

I have always known that i wanted children. From being a little girl myself i have felt i wanted to be a mummy. In my teenage years if anyone were to ask me what my biggest fear was. It was to never be able to have children. Growing up i didn't have a very good relationship with my mum. I have never known what it feels like to have a mothers love. That will not happen to you and Frankie.

Daddy and i found out we were pregnant with you on our Honeymoon, 3 days after we married in the Dominican Republic. You, like your sister were a planned pregnancy. We just didn't expect to conceive on the first cycle!. It had taken us over 12 months of trying for Frankie, a laparoscopy operation and then 2 cycles of the fertility drug Clomid (all because i panicked thinking my worst fears were coming true).

I feel really excited about becoming a mum again and also really nervous too. I feel really happy for days on end and then suddenly get a wave of panic.

How will i cope with two kids?
How can i possibly love another child like i do Frankie?
How will i share my love between the two?

Then i read a lovely poem online written by a mummy who was pregnant with her second baby and experiencing the same thoughts as me......

Loving Two I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you? Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply. I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life. I'm not afraid anymore, I'm just very blessed to be a mummy again. I promise to love you both equally.......i will love you with all my heart bump number two... forever, Mummy xxxx